Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
11 / 28 / 09
I'm so happy right now. It's unbelievible (or however you spell it) how happy I am. I think I'm happy because I was so scared to preform at our dance competition. I was really nervous to preform. I was literally shaking when the group that was before us was dancing. When it was our turn to dance I had just remembered I had to do a solo in the beginning. Which I didn't know I had do untill about four dances before ours. But we did really good and had a great time. Our dance was actully really clean and we got 3rd place in our group. The seniors got 1st place because they were so beast. After dancing we just chilled backstage and started to 'vent' out to each other. Even though no one was really saying anything because they were to afraid to. We wasted so much time just waiting for someone to start or telling someone to go. After a while we had to go back for the awards. Then we stayed backstage for a while taking for like half an hour and then chilled - OMFG EEF THIS, IM SO TIRED AND I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING TO WRITE D:......
Friday, November 27, 2009
11 / 27 / 09
The Life of a Regular, Yet Not so Regular LB.
Once upon a time there was a little lb living in a big world. This lb was in grade 9, and had just graduated from grade 8.
-The Lb's Grade 8-
In the beginning of grade 8 the little lb had no friends and was lonely because he came from a school where none of the kids went to Holy Cross. The little lb tried very hard to make friends and at first it was hard. Finally he made some friends and it looked like his life was starting to get better. And it did get better, he started meeting new people, making new friends and started to like Holy Cross. This lb was very self-concious, he would always be thinking about what others are thinking about him. Because the lb was like this, it was hard for him to open up to people. But one day, when he and his band class went on few day field trip to Seattle he finally opened up to people. After the band trip the little lb grew really close to the friends he made and bonded with in Seattle. After the band trip, he started to talk to grade 9's too and made more friends. But whenever the little lb was invited to go out somewhere he would be really worried. This is because all the lb had for clothing was lb clothes. He wanted to fit in and be cool really badly, but none of the 'cool' clothes would fit him because he is really short. When he first went out with friends he was very self-concious and shy most of the time. But he endured it. Finally, the lb got some 'cool' clothes, and started to think he was fitting in. The problem was that those were his only 'cool' clothes and he would have to constantly rewear them, which in time, made them uncool. But luckly for the lb, Holy Cross has a required uniform so he doesnt have to worry about 'cool' clothes at school. The rest of the lb's grade 8 year was good, he made new friends and opened up to more people.
-The Lb's Grade 9-
The lb was happy and lb-ish as usual in the beginning. The lb first opened up to this one girl, and in time, started to like her. He would always talk to her, and have fun with her. Her locker was even beside his, which gave them more time to talk. The only thing that went wrong was that the girl didn't feel the same way as the lb. She started to talk to the lb about the guys she liked. This discouraged the lb. The lb even called the song "you belong with me" by Taylor Swith his "story of my life" song. But he still continued to like her. Even though he was basicly helping the one he liked hook up with the one she liked. But finally he gave in and gave up. After giving up, the lb stopped talking to her as much. The lb stopped talking to most girls in general. Until he started talking to this one girl again. The lb started becoming closer friends with her (They were friends before but they didn't alot in the beginning of grade 9). The girl would constantly ask who the lb liked because some people, if not most people still thought he liked the first girl because he never told anyone otherwise. The lb would usually reply with "I don't know" or "no one". But the girl would always say the lb was lying or not telling her the truth. She was right. The lb did like someone. He liked her. He started falling for the girl, thinking about her and care so much about her. The lb didn't know what to do, he wouldn't know what to do or what to say when he talked to her but he still found a way to talk to her. The lb was scared because he was never good with girls and was never good at socializing. The girl continued to ask him who he liked, but the lb was always to shy to say that he liked her. The girl asked if the lb liked the first girl but he said the lb replied with no. She kept asking why not, and the lb replied with "why do I have to", "I don't" and kept denying it. One day after countless times of asking, the girl said "I'm not going to talk to you until you tell me why". This caused the lb to be very sad. He didn't know what to do or what to say, but he wanted to talk to her again badly. After awhile of not speaking to each other, the girl finally said "are you going to tell me now?" The lb was still a bit shy, but he knew he wanted to talk to her again and promised himself if he had the chance to talk to her he'd tell her. The lb said "I don't like her because I like someone else". The lb was happy. He finally talked to her again. But somewhere in his heart he was in a state of melancholy. This is because he wanted to tell her his feelings for her, but never had the courage to do so. The girl started to ask him "who do you like?" and the lb usually said "I don't know" or "no one", but he was killing himself on the inside for not telling her that he liked her. He finally got enough courage and convinced himself that he would tell the girl that he liked her while they were at their grade 9 retreat. He had quite a bit of chance to tell her. It was like God was trying to help him in his time of need. But when the lb saw the girl hanging out with this other guy a lot he started to think the girl liked that other guy. He again lost courage. But he still wanted to tell her, no matter what. He had the perfect chance. He and the girl were lying down beside each other, and no one was talking because we were doing a meditation. The lb want to lean over and whisper in her ear that he liked her. But his courage failed him in the very end. He ended up just laying there, beside her, with no words coming out of his mouth. Like he forgot how to speak. He ended up not saying anything to her and telling her his feelings. On the bus ride back to Holy Cross the lb made a vow to himself that he would tell her. No matter what. At Holy Cross the girl said "you were supposed to tell me. Who is it?" and the lb said "I know...". They walked away from each other and the girl sat down at a cafeteria table. The lb turned around, walked up to her and whispered to her from behind he said. "You". The night of that day the lb was very happy. He was happy because he finally told her and got it out of him. The next day the girl didn't talk to the lb and avioded him. This made the lb very depressed. The lb was so afraid to tell her because he was afraid this might happen. After a period of depression the lb finally started talking to the girl again. The awkward-ness went away, and they talked normaly again. After this the lb started to fall for her even more. He would talk to her more and whenever something bad happened between them the lb would always be emo. The lb would always sit outside on the cement bleachers by the Holy Cross football field in the rain thinking. Some other things the lb also did was: get hit by a truck with her, run/sit/be in pouring rain thinking about her, skip dance practice to walk her to the bus stop, skip/leave class without permission with her, clean the whole house because his mom gave them a ride to her house in IC Delta, talk on the phone with her, skip jazz band practice for her. The lb even made a blog to vent out his feelings and made the name iliketoventouttoyou, cleverly capitalizing the letters I, L, O, V, E, Y, O, U.
Currently the lb continues his life and hopes for a good future.
-To be continued
(didn't edit most of it, sorry for errors)
"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, love, hope, and endurance.
In a world there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love."
-1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
"It is not enough to just simply accept love. One must know how to give it."
-The book, modified by David De Guzman
Once upon a time there was a little lb living in a big world. This lb was in grade 9, and had just graduated from grade 8.
-The Lb's Grade 8-
In the beginning of grade 8 the little lb had no friends and was lonely because he came from a school where none of the kids went to Holy Cross. The little lb tried very hard to make friends and at first it was hard. Finally he made some friends and it looked like his life was starting to get better. And it did get better, he started meeting new people, making new friends and started to like Holy Cross. This lb was very self-concious, he would always be thinking about what others are thinking about him. Because the lb was like this, it was hard for him to open up to people. But one day, when he and his band class went on few day field trip to Seattle he finally opened up to people. After the band trip the little lb grew really close to the friends he made and bonded with in Seattle. After the band trip, he started to talk to grade 9's too and made more friends. But whenever the little lb was invited to go out somewhere he would be really worried. This is because all the lb had for clothing was lb clothes. He wanted to fit in and be cool really badly, but none of the 'cool' clothes would fit him because he is really short. When he first went out with friends he was very self-concious and shy most of the time. But he endured it. Finally, the lb got some 'cool' clothes, and started to think he was fitting in. The problem was that those were his only 'cool' clothes and he would have to constantly rewear them, which in time, made them uncool. But luckly for the lb, Holy Cross has a required uniform so he doesnt have to worry about 'cool' clothes at school. The rest of the lb's grade 8 year was good, he made new friends and opened up to more people.
-The Lb's Grade 9-
The lb was happy and lb-ish as usual in the beginning. The lb first opened up to this one girl, and in time, started to like her. He would always talk to her, and have fun with her. Her locker was even beside his, which gave them more time to talk. The only thing that went wrong was that the girl didn't feel the same way as the lb. She started to talk to the lb about the guys she liked. This discouraged the lb. The lb even called the song "you belong with me" by Taylor Swith his "story of my life" song. But he still continued to like her. Even though he was basicly helping the one he liked hook up with the one she liked. But finally he gave in and gave up. After giving up, the lb stopped talking to her as much. The lb stopped talking to most girls in general. Until he started talking to this one girl again. The lb started becoming closer friends with her (They were friends before but they didn't alot in the beginning of grade 9). The girl would constantly ask who the lb liked because some people, if not most people still thought he liked the first girl because he never told anyone otherwise. The lb would usually reply with "I don't know" or "no one". But the girl would always say the lb was lying or not telling her the truth. She was right. The lb did like someone. He liked her. He started falling for the girl, thinking about her and care so much about her. The lb didn't know what to do, he wouldn't know what to do or what to say when he talked to her but he still found a way to talk to her. The lb was scared because he was never good with girls and was never good at socializing. The girl continued to ask him who he liked, but the lb was always to shy to say that he liked her. The girl asked if the lb liked the first girl but he said the lb replied with no. She kept asking why not, and the lb replied with "why do I have to", "I don't" and kept denying it. One day after countless times of asking, the girl said "I'm not going to talk to you until you tell me why". This caused the lb to be very sad. He didn't know what to do or what to say, but he wanted to talk to her again badly. After awhile of not speaking to each other, the girl finally said "are you going to tell me now?" The lb was still a bit shy, but he knew he wanted to talk to her again and promised himself if he had the chance to talk to her he'd tell her. The lb said "I don't like her because I like someone else". The lb was happy. He finally talked to her again. But somewhere in his heart he was in a state of melancholy. This is because he wanted to tell her his feelings for her, but never had the courage to do so. The girl started to ask him "who do you like?" and the lb usually said "I don't know" or "no one", but he was killing himself on the inside for not telling her that he liked her. He finally got enough courage and convinced himself that he would tell the girl that he liked her while they were at their grade 9 retreat. He had quite a bit of chance to tell her. It was like God was trying to help him in his time of need. But when the lb saw the girl hanging out with this other guy a lot he started to think the girl liked that other guy. He again lost courage. But he still wanted to tell her, no matter what. He had the perfect chance. He and the girl were lying down beside each other, and no one was talking because we were doing a meditation. The lb want to lean over and whisper in her ear that he liked her. But his courage failed him in the very end. He ended up just laying there, beside her, with no words coming out of his mouth. Like he forgot how to speak. He ended up not saying anything to her and telling her his feelings. On the bus ride back to Holy Cross the lb made a vow to himself that he would tell her. No matter what. At Holy Cross the girl said "you were supposed to tell me. Who is it?" and the lb said "I know...". They walked away from each other and the girl sat down at a cafeteria table. The lb turned around, walked up to her and whispered to her from behind he said. "You". The night of that day the lb was very happy. He was happy because he finally told her and got it out of him. The next day the girl didn't talk to the lb and avioded him. This made the lb very depressed. The lb was so afraid to tell her because he was afraid this might happen. After a period of depression the lb finally started talking to the girl again. The awkward-ness went away, and they talked normaly again. After this the lb started to fall for her even more. He would talk to her more and whenever something bad happened between them the lb would always be emo. The lb would always sit outside on the cement bleachers by the Holy Cross football field in the rain thinking. Some other things the lb also did was: get hit by a truck with her, run/sit/be in pouring rain thinking about her, skip dance practice to walk her to the bus stop, skip/leave class without permission with her, clean the whole house because his mom gave them a ride to her house in IC Delta, talk on the phone with her, skip jazz band practice for her. The lb even made a blog to vent out his feelings and made the name iliketoventouttoyou, cleverly capitalizing the letters I, L, O, V, E, Y, O, U.
Currently the lb continues his life and hopes for a good future.
-To be continued
(didn't edit most of it, sorry for errors)
"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, love, hope, and endurance.
In a world there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love."
-1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
"It is not enough to just simply accept love. One must know how to give it."
-The book, modified by David De Guzman
Thursday, November 26, 2009
11 / 26 / 09
Lord, I'm here for you.
No matter what you put me through.
I am here because of you.
And I'm just so thankful for that.
I'm thankful for everything.
All the blessings you've given me.
All the people you given me.
I'm thankful for each and everyday.
No matter how bad it was.
No matter what goes wrong.
I'll still be here to worship you.
Even when it hurts so much.
Even when I can't do anything to fix it.
Even when everything goes wrong.
I'll still have you.
I know I might sidetracked away from you at times.
But I know in my heart, that I can find my way back to you.
Dear God,
Lead me.
Help me.
Save me.
I just don't know what to do.
I know I'm not perfect.
I never thought I was.
And I never think I will be.
Dear God,
Please forgive me.
For all the things I've done wrong.
For all the things I could've done right.
For all the people I hurt.
For all the people who hurt me I never forgave.
For not being greatful.
Please God,
Please help me.
I don't expect things to go right.
I don't deserve things to go right.
But please.
I don't deserve your love God.
I don't deserve all the things you've given me.
But I don't want to put them to waste.
You could've given them to someone else.
But who didn't.
I still wonder why.
But I don't regret it.
No matter what happend.
Along with others, you were there.
You were always there.
And I'm sorry for not seeing you earlier.
I'm sorry.
Guide me.
Back into your arms.
Thank you.
Thank you for all the things.
For everything.
I love you.
No matter what you put me through.
I am here because of you.
And I'm just so thankful for that.
I'm thankful for everything.
All the blessings you've given me.
All the people you given me.
I'm thankful for each and everyday.
No matter how bad it was.
No matter what goes wrong.
I'll still be here to worship you.
Even when it hurts so much.
Even when I can't do anything to fix it.
Even when everything goes wrong.
I'll still have you.
I know I might sidetracked away from you at times.
But I know in my heart, that I can find my way back to you.
Dear God,
Lead me.
Help me.
Save me.
I just don't know what to do.
I know I'm not perfect.
I never thought I was.
And I never think I will be.
Dear God,
Please forgive me.
For all the things I've done wrong.
For all the things I could've done right.
For all the people I hurt.
For all the people who hurt me I never forgave.
For not being greatful.
Please God,
Please help me.
I don't expect things to go right.
I don't deserve things to go right.
But please.
I don't deserve your love God.
I don't deserve all the things you've given me.
But I don't want to put them to waste.
You could've given them to someone else.
But who didn't.
I still wonder why.
But I don't regret it.
No matter what happend.
Along with others, you were there.
You were always there.
And I'm sorry for not seeing you earlier.
I'm sorry.
Guide me.
Back into your arms.
Thank you.
Thank you for all the things.
For everything.
I love you.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
11 / 25 / 09
Sorry I haven't posted anything in awhile, i've just been busy lately. But since probably no one is going to read this it doesn't really matter.
Well I couldn't really think of anything to write so I asked Vanessa. She told me to write about how important friendship is to me. But I couldn't really think of anything so forgive me if it sucks.
Friendship
To me, it's one of the most important things in my life
Friendship is so important
If I didn't have it, I'd probably die
Without it, I have nothing
With it, I have everything
Friendship to me, is like the sun
Witout it's sweet, warm touch
I would have darkness
Friendship is so beautiful
But it is so delicate
My friendships are so precious to me
I won't let anything take them away or destroy them
Friendship
Is having people who care about you care about you
Is having friends you'd do anything for
Is doing stupid things at random times with them
Is having someone be there for you
Is being there for someone
Friendship.
"No matter where I go, no matter who I'm with, I'm alone. Except when I'm with you"
-David De Guzman
"Man cannot live without love, He remains a being that is incomprehesible for himself, and his life would be senseless. If love is not revealed to him, if he does not encounter love, if he does not experience it and make it his own, if he does not participate in it, he will surely not be living his life to it's fullest."
-The book, modified by David De Guzman
Well I couldn't really think of anything to write so I asked Vanessa. She told me to write about how important friendship is to me. But I couldn't really think of anything so forgive me if it sucks.
Friendship
To me, it's one of the most important things in my life
Friendship is so important
If I didn't have it, I'd probably die
Without it, I have nothing
With it, I have everything
Friendship to me, is like the sun
Witout it's sweet, warm touch
I would have darkness
Friendship is so beautiful
But it is so delicate
My friendships are so precious to me
I won't let anything take them away or destroy them
Friendship
Is having people who care about you care about you
Is having friends you'd do anything for
Is doing stupid things at random times with them
Is having someone be there for you
Is being there for someone
Friendship.
"No matter where I go, no matter who I'm with, I'm alone. Except when I'm with you"
-David De Guzman
"Man cannot live without love, He remains a being that is incomprehesible for himself, and his life would be senseless. If love is not revealed to him, if he does not encounter love, if he does not experience it and make it his own, if he does not participate in it, he will surely not be living his life to it's fullest."
-The book, modified by David De Guzman
Friday, November 20, 2009
11 / 20(21) / 09
(I started this yesterday but didn't finish and I'm posting it now)
Well I just got home a few hours ago from swimming. Where all I did was talk on the phone, sleep and play cards. I literally swam for only 10 minutes and waited, doing nothing for 10 hours. It was such a waste of time. And now I have to go again tomorrow because I made it into the finals or something. So, the finals were boring again. My goggles fell off when I dived in and really slowed me down.
-Main-
I don't really know what to write about so I'll write about random stuff.
Don't push me away, don't leave me alone. Don't think that I'm not here when I am. I want to be here for you. I am here for you. No matter what happens or what it is, I'll stand by your side. Whenever you cry, whenever you're down, whenever feeling blue. I'll be here for you. Sometimes I worry too much and overreact. But it's because I care about you so much. People tell me to just chill and wait, but it's so hard to. It's probably because I don't really want to. But I'm not sure. People say to not get stuck on a girl, and that I should think of other things. But I can't get you out of my mind, out of my thoughts, can't get you out of my heart. And I don't want to.
Why are you acting so emo? Why are you taking everything so seriously? Why are you making everything so negative? Why are you blaming yourself for everything? Everyone goes through hard times no matter who you are. It's just a matter of when they start. I want to help you, and be there for you like I said I would. But I think it would be better if you learn how to help yourself too. I don't know when you started acting like this. I think it started when I first made my blog. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe it's because I started being emotional then you followed. I don't want you to be like this. I know you're not like this. And I know you want to change. Don't leave me out of this. Please tell me whats wrong. I know you've told me things already but I think there might be more. I know you're telling yourself to change. I know you want to just redo everything or leave it all behind. But just being yourself again would be fine. Be yourself. That's the one and only thing you have to be. Not what others think you should be or expect you to be. Please don't take this the wrong way, because it's not meant to be wrong. It's not meant to hurt you. It's to help you. Remember this.
Since I don't have my book right now, I'll just write three quotes this time.
"What's wrong will never be right if you don't do something about it"
-David De Guzman
"Everyone's biggest fear is what they need and want most. Love.
- Vanessa
"Life is like a boat. The more things you have going on at one time, the faster you sink! (:"
-David De Guzman
Well I just got home a few hours ago from swimming. Where all I did was talk on the phone, sleep and play cards. I literally swam for only 10 minutes and waited, doing nothing for 10 hours. It was such a waste of time. And now I have to go again tomorrow because I made it into the finals or something. So, the finals were boring again. My goggles fell off when I dived in and really slowed me down.
-Main-
I don't really know what to write about so I'll write about random stuff.
Don't push me away, don't leave me alone. Don't think that I'm not here when I am. I want to be here for you. I am here for you. No matter what happens or what it is, I'll stand by your side. Whenever you cry, whenever you're down, whenever feeling blue. I'll be here for you. Sometimes I worry too much and overreact. But it's because I care about you so much. People tell me to just chill and wait, but it's so hard to. It's probably because I don't really want to. But I'm not sure. People say to not get stuck on a girl, and that I should think of other things. But I can't get you out of my mind, out of my thoughts, can't get you out of my heart. And I don't want to.
Why are you acting so emo? Why are you taking everything so seriously? Why are you making everything so negative? Why are you blaming yourself for everything? Everyone goes through hard times no matter who you are. It's just a matter of when they start. I want to help you, and be there for you like I said I would. But I think it would be better if you learn how to help yourself too. I don't know when you started acting like this. I think it started when I first made my blog. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe it's because I started being emotional then you followed. I don't want you to be like this. I know you're not like this. And I know you want to change. Don't leave me out of this. Please tell me whats wrong. I know you've told me things already but I think there might be more. I know you're telling yourself to change. I know you want to just redo everything or leave it all behind. But just being yourself again would be fine. Be yourself. That's the one and only thing you have to be. Not what others think you should be or expect you to be. Please don't take this the wrong way, because it's not meant to be wrong. It's not meant to hurt you. It's to help you. Remember this.
Since I don't have my book right now, I'll just write three quotes this time.
"What's wrong will never be right if you don't do something about it"
-David De Guzman
"Everyone's biggest fear is what they need and want most. Love.
- Vanessa
"Life is like a boat. The more things you have going on at one time, the faster you sink! (:"
-David De Guzman
Thursday, November 19, 2009
To Jeric.
This is for you Jeric. To remind you of all the things I said, and remember them. Please look at this when you're having hard times.
If you move schools the burden will not go away, it'll increase because you're just trying to aviod everything. You have to face things up front. The longer you wait the worse it will be. Don't be like me and ignore/dont talk to her. Cuz you'll feel like everything in the world hates you and your life sucks. It's still kinda like that for me now, but im doing my best to change it.
No one hates you. But everyone will start to hate you if you believe they do and act as if they hate you towards them.
If you truely like her then go for it. If you do something wrong then apologize
But you cant fix it with just an apology
You yourself told me you guys like each other. If you really like her and she likes you, why are you afraid?
It wont be the same if you truely like her. If you truely care for her. If you truely think the best for her.
"I'll stop liking you if you want me to" That line is telling me that she cares about your feelings alot. That, if she's causing you trouble by liking you, she'll stop
you're exactly like me, i don't know what to do but i've decided that i know i truely like her and that i'm going to do my best to win her heart no matter what anyone else says or thinks.
I dont have courage either and im really self-concious. But if its for her, ill do anything.
Don't ever think badly of yourself, it'll make everything worse. I'm in the same position as you and just know that When you're feeling sad and blue just know that I'll always beeee here for you, when everything just makes us go out of our minds, just know, that I will always have the time for you. You say that I am your influence, but just know that you inspire me, now until the end. I know you'll get through the thick and thin, and I know you'll remember when I say you are strong, strong as a soldier, even when weathers tough, you'll always keep it together. You are strong strong as a soldier, I know you'll get through anythinggg. 'Cause you're, strong, strong, strong as soldier. Don't you worry 'bout the obstacles to your happiness, if you let them get to you, you'll end up just like the rest. I know you're better that those people who get in the way, and I know you'll remember when I say. You are strong strong as a soldier.
-Love David De Guzman
(no homo/too lazy to edit or reread, so sorry for errors)
If you move schools the burden will not go away, it'll increase because you're just trying to aviod everything. You have to face things up front. The longer you wait the worse it will be. Don't be like me and ignore/dont talk to her. Cuz you'll feel like everything in the world hates you and your life sucks. It's still kinda like that for me now, but im doing my best to change it.
No one hates you. But everyone will start to hate you if you believe they do and act as if they hate you towards them.
If you truely like her then go for it. If you do something wrong then apologize
But you cant fix it with just an apology
You yourself told me you guys like each other. If you really like her and she likes you, why are you afraid?
It wont be the same if you truely like her. If you truely care for her. If you truely think the best for her.
"I'll stop liking you if you want me to" That line is telling me that she cares about your feelings alot. That, if she's causing you trouble by liking you, she'll stop
you're exactly like me, i don't know what to do but i've decided that i know i truely like her and that i'm going to do my best to win her heart no matter what anyone else says or thinks.
I dont have courage either and im really self-concious. But if its for her, ill do anything.
Don't ever think badly of yourself, it'll make everything worse. I'm in the same position as you and just know that When you're feeling sad and blue just know that I'll always beeee here for you, when everything just makes us go out of our minds, just know, that I will always have the time for you. You say that I am your influence, but just know that you inspire me, now until the end. I know you'll get through the thick and thin, and I know you'll remember when I say you are strong, strong as a soldier, even when weathers tough, you'll always keep it together. You are strong strong as a soldier, I know you'll get through anythinggg. 'Cause you're, strong, strong, strong as soldier. Don't you worry 'bout the obstacles to your happiness, if you let them get to you, you'll end up just like the rest. I know you're better that those people who get in the way, and I know you'll remember when I say. You are strong strong as a soldier.
-Love David De Guzman
(no homo/too lazy to edit or reread, so sorry for errors)
11 / 19 / 09
Whats up? Sorry for not blogging yesterday, I've just been very busy with things and had no time. Shout out to Jeric, he's been having some problems like me and I just want to let him know that I'll always be here for him, and he can always count on me. And thanks to Vanessa for helping me understand and pick the right decision.
-Main-
To her,
I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. There aren't enough adjectives in this world to express how sorry I am. I know you've been hurting. Just like me. But I know it's my fault, and I'll do anything I can to fix it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ignoring you, for avoiding you, for not understanding, and for everything else. I was a real idiot and I know that now. I know that you know my true feelings. And I think I know yours. I'm sorry for not being there. Sorry for making you go through all of this crap because of me. And I know I don't deserve your friendship. But I still want it. I still want to be friends, like we used to be. I wish I could give you back all the time I took. Please, please forgive me. I'll do anything to save this friendship. Because I know that what I did was wrong. I know that I did the wrong things at the wrong time. I know. You know. So I ask again, please forgive me. Please forgive this stupid, retarded, clueless douche bag for all that he's done to you. Please forgive me. I'm sorry.
From,
David De Guzman
"Life is like building a tower. As you go up you need friends and people you love to support you. If you lose one of them, your whole tower could come crashing down. But as you gain more your tower will reach unthinkable heights"
-David De Guzman
Sorry! I forgot my book in my locker ): But i'll write down two next time I blog (:
-Main-
To her,
I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. There aren't enough adjectives in this world to express how sorry I am. I know you've been hurting. Just like me. But I know it's my fault, and I'll do anything I can to fix it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ignoring you, for avoiding you, for not understanding, and for everything else. I was a real idiot and I know that now. I know that you know my true feelings. And I think I know yours. I'm sorry for not being there. Sorry for making you go through all of this crap because of me. And I know I don't deserve your friendship. But I still want it. I still want to be friends, like we used to be. I wish I could give you back all the time I took. Please, please forgive me. I'll do anything to save this friendship. Because I know that what I did was wrong. I know that I did the wrong things at the wrong time. I know. You know. So I ask again, please forgive me. Please forgive this stupid, retarded, clueless douche bag for all that he's done to you. Please forgive me. I'm sorry.
From,
David De Guzman
"Life is like building a tower. As you go up you need friends and people you love to support you. If you lose one of them, your whole tower could come crashing down. But as you gain more your tower will reach unthinkable heights"
-David De Guzman
Sorry! I forgot my book in my locker ): But i'll write down two next time I blog (:
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
11 / 17 / 09
First, I want to say thank you again to Vanessa, Jeric and Pamela. Cuz I know I can always talk to them and that they will always be here with me, you guys are the best (:
Lets start with -random-
So... today I found a book. It's called "If you really loved me" by Jason Evert. And I literally 'found' it. The reason i'm writing about this book is because it has alot of things about love and some good quotes, or lines that I really liked. From now on I will give a quote or sentance from the book I find while reading in purple on each of my blog posts (:
"To love someone truely is to rediscover the meaning of life."
-the book, modified by David De Guzman
-Main-
Don't having a meaning in being nice to the one you love. Always be there, not just to try to win their heart, but as a friend. Because you have to be a friend before you can be a "boyfriend". Trust the one that you love. Even though you may see them with others, trust them, trust them to know your feelings and know you're there and you care so much about them. Though you care about that person so much, don't be so self-concious about everything and just let go and be yourself. Love is blind, you'll never know if a person is looking towards you unless they truely tell you. Love is blind, you can never see what's coming and never know when it comes. Don't expect the one you love to come and open up to you. Go to them. If you truely care about that person you will notice if they are feeling down or if there is something bothering them. Remeber, you are priceless and no one can say truthfuly that you aren't. Remember, that confidence is key, and the simpler, the better. Remember always, that friend comes before boyfriend.
-Vanessa, Modified by David De Guzman
I'm lost. Lost in this journey of love. Where the only way to find my way is inside me. Somewhere. Somewhere deep in there. That i just can't seem find. I try not to stress too much, not to worry too much, not to let this affect me too much. But it's so hard not to, because I care about you so much. I want to talk to you more, I want to be with you more, more than any other guy. But I never get the chance to, never get the chance to open myself up to you and let you know how I truely feel. But you don't ever open up to me either, like you do with other guys. I don't know what you're thinking, what you're feeling. I don't know anything. I want to know more. I want to know you. But it may be just too hard. Love is hard. But no one ever said it was going to be easy. Love is painful. But no one said it was going to be painless. Love is beautiful. In every way. But Love my love is lost, And I'm doing anything and everything I can to find it. Find it, before someone else takes it.
"It's not that you can't do it; It's just you think you can't."
-David De Guzman
Lets start with -random-
So... today I found a book. It's called "If you really loved me" by Jason Evert. And I literally 'found' it. The reason i'm writing about this book is because it has alot of things about love and some good quotes, or lines that I really liked. From now on I will give a quote or sentance from the book I find while reading in purple on each of my blog posts (:
"To love someone truely is to rediscover the meaning of life."
-the book, modified by David De Guzman
-Main-
Don't having a meaning in being nice to the one you love. Always be there, not just to try to win their heart, but as a friend. Because you have to be a friend before you can be a "boyfriend". Trust the one that you love. Even though you may see them with others, trust them, trust them to know your feelings and know you're there and you care so much about them. Though you care about that person so much, don't be so self-concious about everything and just let go and be yourself. Love is blind, you'll never know if a person is looking towards you unless they truely tell you. Love is blind, you can never see what's coming and never know when it comes. Don't expect the one you love to come and open up to you. Go to them. If you truely care about that person you will notice if they are feeling down or if there is something bothering them. Remeber, you are priceless and no one can say truthfuly that you aren't. Remember, that confidence is key, and the simpler, the better. Remember always, that friend comes before boyfriend.
-Vanessa, Modified by David De Guzman
I'm lost. Lost in this journey of love. Where the only way to find my way is inside me. Somewhere. Somewhere deep in there. That i just can't seem find. I try not to stress too much, not to worry too much, not to let this affect me too much. But it's so hard not to, because I care about you so much. I want to talk to you more, I want to be with you more, more than any other guy. But I never get the chance to, never get the chance to open myself up to you and let you know how I truely feel. But you don't ever open up to me either, like you do with other guys. I don't know what you're thinking, what you're feeling. I don't know anything. I want to know more. I want to know you. But it may be just too hard. Love is hard. But no one ever said it was going to be easy. Love is painful. But no one said it was going to be painless. Love is beautiful. In every way. But Love my love is lost, And I'm doing anything and everything I can to find it. Find it, before someone else takes it.
"It's not that you can't do it; It's just you think you can't."
-David De Guzman
Monday, November 16, 2009
The other will be known as 'she'
Why does she like me? Even though I used to like her too. But then I fell for you. I know how you feel now. The way you wanted me to like someone else and the way you were always asking me why I liked you. Why does she like me? I don't want her to. She will only get in the way of you and me. Even if there is barely a 'you and me' in the first place. But I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt anyone, and I hate it when i do. But I don't know what to do. Like always, I don't know what to do.
-random-
-I got owned by a truck....Again. I was walking with friends, and as we walked by a big puddle, a random truck that is headed towards us on the road suddenly speeds up. The truck quickly turned towards us and splashed about a billion liters of water on us. It was on the day of my birthday too! My fricking birthday! And it got my jacket wet :(
Sorry if I'm copying you Jeff (if you even read this), but i want to put quotes in too.
"I'd rather regret doing something stupid, than do nothing at all".
- David De Guzman
-random-
-I got owned by a truck....Again. I was walking with friends, and as we walked by a big puddle, a random truck that is headed towards us on the road suddenly speeds up. The truck quickly turned towards us and splashed about a billion liters of water on us. It was on the day of my birthday too! My fricking birthday! And it got my jacket wet :(
Sorry if I'm copying you Jeff (if you even read this), but i want to put quotes in too.
"I'd rather regret doing something stupid, than do nothing at all".
- David De Guzman
11 / 16 / 09
So.... It's my birthday today. But before I start, I want to say Thank you Jeffrey, Vanessa, Pamela, and Jeric. Jeffrey for being my inspiration, okay. And Vaness, Pamela, and Jeric for always being there for me until the end, and listening to what I've got to say.
Right now I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be? It's my birthday. But I'm even happier that you're not going to skip school just because it's my birthday. I'm not expecting anything big or flashy from anyone. I don't really need anything. And I don't really know if I want anything. All I know is, what I want is you. For you to be there with me, on my special day. And everyday too. Maybe there is this hope for me. In this battle for your love. Maybe I have chance. Just maybe, is there a way for me to win. But it's going to be rough. I know it will. But I promise I won't give up, promise that no matter what happens I'll pull through. I promise this to you.
Jeffrey! Hurry up and get a ps3 and Mw2! Who cares if you have to ask your parents for money? The only thing thats important is getting it! And I wish you have good luck in your battle for love.
Right now I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be? It's my birthday. But I'm even happier that you're not going to skip school just because it's my birthday. I'm not expecting anything big or flashy from anyone. I don't really need anything. And I don't really know if I want anything. All I know is, what I want is you. For you to be there with me, on my special day. And everyday too. Maybe there is this hope for me. In this battle for your love. Maybe I have chance. Just maybe, is there a way for me to win. But it's going to be rough. I know it will. But I promise I won't give up, promise that no matter what happens I'll pull through. I promise this to you.
Jeffrey! Hurry up and get a ps3 and Mw2! Who cares if you have to ask your parents for money? The only thing thats important is getting it! And I wish you have good luck in your battle for love.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
11 / 15 / 09
I'm confused. Even though im pretty sure you don't feel the same way. You tell me you don't like anyone, but i know you do. I'm confused. Because I don't know who the person you like is, and who the person you don't like is. Honestly, I like you alot. It's gotten to the point where I can't stop thinking about you. It hurts so much when you ignore me and try to convince me to like another person. It's like you don't even know how much I like you, how much i care about you. And it hurts even more when the person you might like may be one of my best friends. I've already told you that you're the one I like. So it makes this a million times harder to write. Sometimes, if not all the time, I wish I didn't have the physical features I have now. Maybe that's why you don't feel the same way, but i'm still not sure, because i'm not as tall as the other guys and I know it would probably be weird to be with someone my height. I know not like the other guys. Who are always mean to you or always teasing you. I'm nice. Naturally. And i'm not good at being mean. At times i wonder, maybe being mean is better than being nice. But I don't know if i could pull off being mean all the time. It's because I care alot for others. Like how sometimes I wish i could have taken the hit by the truck instead of you. And I think to myself all the time, that if I could go back to that day, I'd push you away, instead of trying to fight back and be a hero. It hurts alot when I see you with other guys, in this empty space I call a heart. But you don't notice, no one ever notices, maybe it's better if nobody notices and I suffer in silence like I usually do. I'm no good with girls. And i'm not good at revealing my feelings, or opening up to people. It's probably true, how I mainly talk to the girl I like. I think it's because I like you too much and it doesn't feel the same when i talk to other girls. Or it's because i've never felt the same way about someone before. I wish I was brave. So i could tell you all the things i want to tell you. But i'm too self-concious. And what's inside, never comes out right for me. I hate the fact that I don't have any classes with you during school. And the fact that I basicly only talk to you after school. I try my hardest to talk to you more, I even changed the normal way I go to some classes so i could bump into you. But you're usually not there, or I don't know what to say. I know i'm just another 'typical' guy to you, but I try. I try so hard to make a difference. But nothing works. I'm horrible at talking with others. I wish i could talk so naturally like my other friends. And when I talk to you, I either talking really naturally, or I have to think about what to say. But I don't know what to say any more, I don't know what to do any more. The feelings I have for you won't stop coming. Won't stop hurting. I can't get you out of my head. It's like you're always here. But at the same time you're not.
I know there's basicly no point in writing this and this will probably hurt me in the future. But I think it's better to vent it out than keeping it in.
I know there's basicly no point in writing this and this will probably hurt me in the future. But I think it's better to vent it out than keeping it in.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I Like tO VEnt out to YOU
I like dont very get why or how this works, so this is a test to see how to use this.
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